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Friday, June 17, 2011

Jay and B-Mac's Last Stand

Distance: 7.17 mi
Time: 00:52:14 - 7:16 ppm
Running Buddy

This was the final meet-up run for Jay Holder and Brian McMahon, both of whom are moving in the near future. A group of about twenty of us met at the Sardis lot to get in a run together.

This run will forever be known for three things: the last run for Jay, the last run for Brian...and the day that Billy Shue swam across the pond, losing his shorts in the process. For those unfamiliar with McAlpine, just trust me when I tell you that this pond is disgusting. Some of us were genuinely concerned for Billy's health - that he might get a rash, grow a third arm, or come out of the water with three poisonous snakes coiled around his head. Things went from funny to bizarre to borderline frightening when Billy revealed to all that he had lost his shorts. At first we thought he was joking, but it quickly became apparent that he was not.

As Billy fished around in the toxic water for his shorts, the three women in our group - Megan Hovis, Jordan's girlfriend, and Carolyn Maye - quickly darted off around the other side of the lake. There was a genuine fear in the air as Billy arose out of the water...to reveal that he was wearing underwear beneath his running shorts. I don't know what's more strange: the fact that Billy somehow lost his shorts in the water, and didn't realize it - or the fact that he was wearing white boxer-briefs under his running shorts (and thank the Good Lord that he was).

Kahn found a shirt for Billy to wrap around his waist for the two-mile run back to the Sardis lot, but as far as I know he didn't wear it. I didn't bother to look. I joined Jason and Carolyn in setting the pace up front as we headed back.

Kahn had been going around with a camera phone, asking everyone to mention their thoughts for Jay. I hadn't had a chance to really get to know him, but gave him a shout-out for starting the club, seeing as how joining the CRC is one of the smartest things I've done, personally speaking, in a long time. There is, apparently, video evidence of Billy running back with us in his underwear, then later going back to try to find his shorts. I can't speak for Jay and Brian, but I know I'll be laughing about this one for awhile.

I'll leave you with some excerpts from Billy's Athleticore entry (copied with his permission):

[Training Run] Planned on just running 4 easy miles, but since this was Jay and Brian's last big group run before moving, I wanted to stay with them and the group and really enjoy this last run with them. The group today was Paul, Ben, Megan, Beigay, Jamaar, Greg Shore, myself, Stephen, Meagan, Jordan, Kahn, Alex, Jason Martin, Jay, Brian, Carolyn, Stan, Mo, Matt, John F, and Jason B (today's run list was obtained from Megan's athleticore).

Had to send the boys out with a bang, so I swam across the shorter width of the lake, but lost my shorts in the process - good thing I was wearing my briefs on underneath, but I really liked those shorts! I tried to sweep around with my feet and hands under the water, but couldn't find them. I'd try again later...

Hopefully I won't grow an extra body part or have my male reproductive system messed up - if my future wife one day gives birth to a baby who only has one eye, 3 eyes, or an arm growing out of his/her face or shoulder, I'll know why.

Interesting run back to Old Bell with the group, with me pulling a Vicente Hernandez and just running in my underwear briefs!

[Training Swim] Swam across the McAlpine lake (the shorter width) for Jay and Brian's sendoff! Lost my shorts though, but at least had my briefs on underneath - made for an interesting run back to Old Bell!

[Training Run #2] Kahn very graciously gave me a ride back to the park for me to get my key which I had inadvertenly hidden in the grass when I swam across the McAlpine lake (Paul had very graciously picked up my shoes and socks but couldn't see the key hidden under the grass). I got the key and told Mike he could just head home since I was going to look for my shorts again. BMac watched my 2nd attempt at trying to find the shorts, along with plenty of others who came out jogging, walking, or fishing (one guy) at the lake. I still couldn't find the shorts! Maybe they'll surface at some point! I just swept with my hands and feet under the water with my eyes closed - no way was I going to open my eyes without goggles in that water!!

I jogged back to Old Bell again in my underwear, but with the shirt Mike gave me hopefully concealing the briefs from the front, but I did have to pass a few people on the way back and also saw Donny Forsyth and a group of younger kids (high-school/college) who could tell right off the bat I was running in my underwear. I also passed by the woman who I creeped out with the skull back around Halloween - I could tell she was creeped out again. When I got back to Old Bell, BMac was detailing the event to James Haycraft, who was enthused by the whole thing.

I think I creeped out a woman with her kids at Old Bell - they were going to go for a walk or something on the greenway but they pulled in, stepped out of the car, saw me, got back into the car, and drove off.

We love you, Billy. Please don't let your shorts come off in the race tomorrow, because I can't run fast enough to stay ahead of you.

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